Good Evening Elephant Lovers...
I know its been a while. I do apologize for the delay. Please forgive me.
Ok so on to business!!!
"If you wouldn't make her a wife, then don't make her a mother."
I read this quote a while ago. Initially I was on board. Yes, only initially. I had my arms flailing and was all about "men are scum and need to be more respectful of women". Then I thought of something. Marriage is the union of TWO people. The man isn't the only one responsible for free-range frolicking. Ladies, though this quote may be true, at some point you have to take responsibility for your own ass (LITERALLY). You cant just go around handing it out all willy-nilly and then blaming the man for whatever results may come. As women, we need to take responsibility for ourselves and our own destiny. If you know that man is NOT husband material, do NOT have sex with him! Don't get me wrong... I realize that we all need to get a little sexual healing every now and again (and again and again) sooooo if you do decide that King Mandingo, who also happens to be world's biggest jerk rocks your world, use birth control. Trust me when I say its a beautiful thing.
Of course another option is to WAIT. Don't go around shouting arson when you gave the criminal the lighter and the gasoline. In case you didn't follow that analogy: DON'T HAVE SEX UNLESS YOU ARE MARRIED IF YOU'RE GONNA BE UPSET IF YOU GET KNOCKED UP!
So before this pink elephant stampedes all over your life... Ladies, don't let him make you something that you don't want to be.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Food Makes me Sick!
Has anyone else noticed the surge in illnesses in today's society?
It has been said that we are what we eat. So, why do we continue to eat crap if its going to kill us? Of course, we know some part of what triggers this must be genetics. How much do we give to each one? 50/50? 70/30? 90/10? 99/1? And which one gets what percentage?
Either way it seems a bit unfair. We eat to live. Well most of us do. Some of us just live to eat. But, if we are eating to live, why oh why is everything we're eating killing us? Sometimes, it not the food we eat. It can be the additives that we are adding into foods. As technology has progressed, we have found ways to prolong the life of the food or make it look prettier. I dont know about you but Id rather eat slightly less attractive food in a shorter amount of time than enhance my chances of having cancer. The other things that are said to increase our chances are sugars, processed meats, and trans fats. So, the next time you sit down to have a great breakfast of bacon and eggs consider what you could be doing to yourself. If you are having hot dogs and french fries for lunch... your future meals may be limited.
So what does one propose you do? EAT HEALTHIER!!! Im not requesting that you give up your hotdogs or your bacon sandwiches completely. Just cut down on them. You could also just choose healthier options. You may have to go to a specialty store and it may be a bit pricier but if its bacon you crave, your life should be worth it. Bacon and other processed meats do come in low sodium/low nitrate versions. Shocking... I know.
Hasnt anyone told you that an apple a day keeps the doctor away? Well, switch that apple to a grapefruit. Or maybe some broccoli, mushrooms, tofu, carrots, raspberries, long grain rice, oatmeal, garlic and/or sweet potatoes. Doesnt sound like a list of things you like to eat? Well ... TOO BAD!!! Joking...sorry. This isnt the end all and be all of lists. Look into other healthy options. Just find things to eat that make you happy AND healthy.
So... whip up a quick stir fry and have a glass of red wine and toast to this pink elephant that has taken over the lives of too many...
It has been said that we are what we eat. So, why do we continue to eat crap if its going to kill us? Of course, we know some part of what triggers this must be genetics. How much do we give to each one? 50/50? 70/30? 90/10? 99/1? And which one gets what percentage?
Either way it seems a bit unfair. We eat to live. Well most of us do. Some of us just live to eat. But, if we are eating to live, why oh why is everything we're eating killing us? Sometimes, it not the food we eat. It can be the additives that we are adding into foods. As technology has progressed, we have found ways to prolong the life of the food or make it look prettier. I dont know about you but Id rather eat slightly less attractive food in a shorter amount of time than enhance my chances of having cancer. The other things that are said to increase our chances are sugars, processed meats, and trans fats. So, the next time you sit down to have a great breakfast of bacon and eggs consider what you could be doing to yourself. If you are having hot dogs and french fries for lunch... your future meals may be limited.
So what does one propose you do? EAT HEALTHIER!!! Im not requesting that you give up your hotdogs or your bacon sandwiches completely. Just cut down on them. You could also just choose healthier options. You may have to go to a specialty store and it may be a bit pricier but if its bacon you crave, your life should be worth it. Bacon and other processed meats do come in low sodium/low nitrate versions. Shocking... I know.
Hasnt anyone told you that an apple a day keeps the doctor away? Well, switch that apple to a grapefruit. Or maybe some broccoli, mushrooms, tofu, carrots, raspberries, long grain rice, oatmeal, garlic and/or sweet potatoes. Doesnt sound like a list of things you like to eat? Well ... TOO BAD!!! Joking...sorry. This isnt the end all and be all of lists. Look into other healthy options. Just find things to eat that make you happy AND healthy.
So... whip up a quick stir fry and have a glass of red wine and toast to this pink elephant that has taken over the lives of too many...
Monday, April 2, 2012
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....
Why is everyone trying to be so damn thin!?!?!?
It seems like the goal is for women of today to disappear. No one is happy with their bodies anymore. Every time you turn around there is a new fad diet (that does nothing or does something but only temporarily) and everyone over a size 2 jumps on board. Someone I know donated an entire box of food because it was fattening. Everything in moderation people. I fully support healthy decisions. However, everyone should be entitled to a "cheat day". The day that you get to partake in whatever the hell you'd like! Otherwise, food becomes a boring, monotonous, envious chore. Food is life. Life is food. You dont want a boring, monotonous, envious life do you?? Didnt think so! SPLURGE!!!!
REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES! Marilyn Monroe was a voluptuous b-e-a-u-t-y! Dont follow her life too closely though. "Accute barbituate" poisoning isnt the way to go whether suicide or homicide. Bettie Page was also shapely ( 36-23-35). Please, tell me you know who Bettie Page is! No? Ok... ta da!...This is Bettie Page. Again, not the perfect person to follow considering her mental illness later in life but she was a model and GORGEOUS. Playboy thought so, too!
But I digress... Ladies, be worried about what kind of person you are NOT the person you appear to be to superficial, assinine jerks. As long as you are healthy and are happy with yourself you should have no worries. Hakuna Matata! Respect yourself and your body and GO FORTH! Now, I know some of you are saying "Easy to say for this skinny bitch!". Okay, first... shut up! Now...true, I am 5'8 1/2 and 145lbs but I am working on GAINING weight...not losing. I am my smallest friend. All of my bestfriends/divas/homies/home skillets/home slices/ect are plus sized women and FABULOUS.
Girl, love your rolls, bumps, curves, handles, and cushions! Only a dog wants a bone and even that dog prefers some meat on it. Now, before you get distracted... head to your fridge, pick out the tastiest, calorie-laden thing you can find, have at it and dare someone to say something about this pink elephant in the room...
It seems like the goal is for women of today to disappear. No one is happy with their bodies anymore. Every time you turn around there is a new fad diet (that does nothing or does something but only temporarily) and everyone over a size 2 jumps on board. Someone I know donated an entire box of food because it was fattening. Everything in moderation people. I fully support healthy decisions. However, everyone should be entitled to a "cheat day". The day that you get to partake in whatever the hell you'd like! Otherwise, food becomes a boring, monotonous, envious chore. Food is life. Life is food. You dont want a boring, monotonous, envious life do you?? Didnt think so! SPLURGE!!!!
REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES! Marilyn Monroe was a voluptuous b-e-a-u-t-y! Dont follow her life too closely though. "Accute barbituate" poisoning isnt the way to go whether suicide or homicide. Bettie Page was also shapely ( 36-23-35). Please, tell me you know who Bettie Page is! No? Ok... ta da!...This is Bettie Page. Again, not the perfect person to follow considering her mental illness later in life but she was a model and GORGEOUS. Playboy thought so, too!
But I digress... Ladies, be worried about what kind of person you are NOT the person you appear to be to superficial, assinine jerks. As long as you are healthy and are happy with yourself you should have no worries. Hakuna Matata! Respect yourself and your body and GO FORTH! Now, I know some of you are saying "Easy to say for this skinny bitch!". Okay, first... shut up! Now...true, I am 5'8 1/2 and 145lbs but I am working on GAINING weight...not losing. I am my smallest friend. All of my bestfriends/divas/homies/home skillets/home slices/ect are plus sized women and FABULOUS.
Girl, love your rolls, bumps, curves, handles, and cushions! Only a dog wants a bone and even that dog prefers some meat on it. Now, before you get distracted... head to your fridge, pick out the tastiest, calorie-laden thing you can find, have at it and dare someone to say something about this pink elephant in the room...
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